Reflection: Summer of Self-Love

Hi beautiful souls, I hope you are all having a safe and wonderful summer so far. If you follow this page I'm sure you resonate with me on some energetic level, so I thought I would clue you in on my current journey… perhaps some of you will resonate with this as you may also find yourself on this journey.

For the past year, the universe has been trying to teach me a lesson and that is… to love myself more. I thought I loved myself enough so I was confused as to what more the universe was asking of me. So I continued on with the same energy and the same patterns... not making any changes. However, because I wasn’t learning this lesson, the universe would continuously throw obstacles my way, each time a little more intense… a little more ruthless… to help me see the bigger picture. Well after a series of unfortunate events... I finally started to understand what was being asked of me and realized the universe wasn't only asking me to love myself… but to choose myself. To choose myself despite how uncomfortable it makes me. To choose myself despite how “selfish” it seems. To choose myself even if it meant it would hurt others. To choose myself despite how much I want to give to others. To choose myself despite how much I loved others.

It seems easy to choose yourself… but as I’m learning… it is actually very difficult and requires a lot of patience and trust in yourself and the universe. Sometimes choosing yourself means letting go of things you care about… letting go of the responsibility you feel towards people and situations... which is hard to do when you are a compassionate and empathic person. But letting go is truly the only way to make space for your needs. You also tend to associate those said things with so much love and happiness and fulfillment… but when they are no longer there or no longer aligned with your highest good... you are forced to think… who am I without all of these things? Why did I feel the need to constantly put these things above my own well-being? Why were these things so important? Were they as fulfilling as I thought? Choosing yourself pushes you to become more spiritually in-tuned with yourself and then you start to have clarity of the voids you have been trying to fill and how you are going to overcome these voids.

I also gave it a long thought as to why the universe wanted to teach this lesson now as I know timing is always significant. Did you know between the ages of 27-31 we go through an intense energetic shift that peaks around the age of 29? This is called the Saturn return and it is when Saturn transits over its natal position for the very first time. It is one of the most transformative periods we will go through, triggering major life milestones. And because it’s Saturn bringing these milestones... better believe they are heavily karmic in nature (not referring to positive/negative karma but karmic as in an integral part of your soul's journey). It will play out differently for everyone, but ultimately this time pushes us to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually with the intention of preparing us for the next chapter of our life.

With that being said, I feel like this lesson has come about now for this reason exactly. With all of these life-altering shifts and transformations, the universe is teaching me and anyone else who is on this journey that we’re going to have to remember how to love ourselves and choose ourselves when the time comes... and the time will come. The reality is... part of the human journey is our relationship and responsibility to others and part of the soul's journey is to give to others. But we also have to learn to respect the relationship and responsibility we have to the self and learn when it is appropriate to give, and when it is appropriate to have boundaries. I've also come to learn when the universe gives you time to dedicate to your growth, take it and make the most of it because not everyone is so lucky to have this gift. As I said... it is not easy. Getting myself in that mindset to put my needs first has been incredibly challenging, as I’m so attached to being the person who constantly gave herself away energetically. But even selflessness has its limits... and I know one day I will be grateful for this time of learning how to choose myself… how to give to myself... how to nurture myself… how to love myself.

Peace and Love,

Vashti